Here I am......

Every moment I see u coming towards me.... And I wait eagerly with all I have.... Holding all my will n hope in my hands close to my heart, I wait. I dream that u come, kiss me.... Say "I LOVE YOU" n then we live happily ever after..........

When I wake up, I see u come but in no time U come.... hit... n run. Far away..... Away from my sight. To those far away distances..... Carrying away all my dreams to those shores which I have never even dreamt about..... leaving me wet in my salty tears. After a while I build my dreams again and again  waiting for u every day, every moment eagerly with all I have.... Holding all my will n hope in my hands close to my heart, I wait. I dream that u come kiss me.... Say "I LOVE YOU" n then we live happily ever after.......... And so on....the story repeats.

Many friends keep telling me to leave.....  But how can I? To where...? and What will I leave? I will not, I can't.... leave myself!!!!!

I know u will come back... for me. And also I know that u will run away... again!!!

No matter what, I am always here waiting for u, to embrace you every time u come back. After all.... Love is to fall again n again n again for the same you.....
n Here I am... In Love with YOU.

I, Walk Away.

I, walk away.
And all you feel is I left you behind, cheated on you, moved on and I don't Love You any more!!

But Darling, the Truth is...

All my Love for you is right here in me, drowning me from within, suffocating, choking and pulling me far far away from you.

The same force which once brought us together, is now pulling and dragging my Love to a very distant High Lands. The prophecy tells that my Love eventually will be shattered by the grief of our separation and buried alive there, in those High Lands, deep under the rocks of your Mistrust and Disbelief.

Now, I accept this harsh journey and walk away... with all my Faith to meet you again one day, my love, when your Love rises so high... enough to reach those High Lands, blooms beautifully and burns the barriers down in its Fire and Warmth.

Then... my dear, through the ashes of the burnt, will "my Love" come back to life  in your arms, taking the fragrance of your Love as its first breath. I promise.








Until then...... I, Walk Away.

_/\_ Prayer _/\_

Away from the World of Built-up Moralities... 
My Lord, Guide me to the Discovery of Self.



Away from the World of Blind Bondage...
Dear Almighty, Drive me towards Eternal Love and Compassion.

Your Divine Grace, my Father, as my Wings........
Breaking through the Winds of Attachments, and
Rains of Sorrow...
Let me Fly high and deep, 
With Freedom and Strength of Heart,
Into Your Abode of Light and Wisdom.

How Far We Are

You were roaring dangerous when I reached you. 

And when you reached me, I was locked inside.  

Hanging on to the glass of separation, 
quietly whispering to me to break through. 
Looking straight into my eye,
Could you look at yourself in there? 

Soon, dear, you were gone. 

And here I am... looking through the glass. 

**********
We were always close enough to carry each others shadows. Yet so far....

Wish

Once, in a dense forest, there was a huge deep well, with sweet waters, surrounded by huge trees.

All the trees and leaves always talked about the well. How it haunts and how anyone fell into it never returned back to the ground. So, no matter what happens, no one ever even tried to bend to look into the well.

One day a huge leopard jumped on a big tree around that well and broke a branch. many leaves cut separate and fell on the ground. All of them managed to not fall into the well, except one.

This one leaf has always dreamt of being close to a beautiful budding flower. Today, looking at its destiny in a well, it felt sad and sobbed. But sooner it realized that none can hear its sobs as the well is too deep for its cries to reach the ground.

 After crying for a long time, the leaf kept quiet. Floating on the water, it quietly kept looking at the deep blue skies...

Days passed. Lot of larvae and other such species took the shelter of the leaf, sometimes boarding it and sometimes under it. But  the leaf quietly kept looking at the deep blue skies...

Months passed.  Lot of leaves started growing around in the well.  still  the leaf quietly kept looking at the deep blue skies...

Now and then, the other leaves used to keep the leaf busy knowing about its journey from the tree to the well and its dream of a beautiful flower.

A year end is nearby. One morning, the leaf opened its eyes when few dew drops fell on its face., to notice that there is someone masking its sight into the blue skies....

The leaf hopped aside... to see a beautiful pink lotus blooming by its side, with dew drops at the corners of its sharp and nicely curved petals.

Nothing left to speak, tears rolled down the leaf. It turned away from the flower to see hundreds of such flowers blooming around.

******

No well is deep enough to bury your wish. So, no matter what happens, keep your wish strong and alive and miracles will flower to brighten your way.

Me and My Conscience - Duality/Dichotomy in Life

When you feel like talking more than necessary, push yourself to be quiet.
When disturbed with too much silence in mind, make some noise, plan yourself a nice engaging activity.

When you feel like moving away from the world, move to the best of the pals or a better place.
When you are engaging your self too much into world's matters, its time you get some time for yourself.

When you throw yourself into a bigger pot, you are actually moving close to your Self and becoming more self-centric.
When you are moving into your own shell, your are actually sorting or organizing your world.




-- Its funny and amazingly absorbing and surprisingly interesting, how the solutions for most problems reside in the opposite plane. Understand and Catch up with Duality/Dichotomy in life and live feather lite life.

Maslow's triangle - Compass for life

Living is like the art of sculpting - We continuously are carving and shaping ourselves.

I appreciate all those out there who are facing the life posing challenges with all the guts, gathering all their strengths. This post is one little reminder to all those brave soldiers in the war of life.

A firm base is required for anything to stand in balance. And human being is no exception.

Be it Science or Bhagavat Gita or any rationally modeled scripture... have provided few guidelines to help us sort out our "What to do~*&@#@**! NOW" kind of confusions.

Someone who doesn't believe in God n scriptures can be called an atheist. But to deny science is being foolish. So, if not scriptures, at least we should respect Science.

Maslow's triangle is the most simple, yet the best compass to direct our boat in the right path in the ocean of life.

Bottom up. That's the order we need to prioritize our needs... "most of the times".
Instead, "most of the times" we topsy-turvy the whole triangle and stand on one vertex :)

Standing on a vertex - losing all balance, one collapses, crashing other people around.. If luck is on our side, we depend on others' - to stand, still with our wrong order of priorities!!

This sure causes tensions in relations, health and hence, DAMN affecting everything else that the ppl are involved with. Resulting in a kind of pressure (differences). [My logical brain says that pressure differences cause cyclones. Can be applied here too??!]

Whom to blame for all the disaster? Destiny? Fate?? Others??
No, its YOU, of course!! to stand on a pointed vertex.

Destiny is something beyond our hands. So, lets not talk about it.
But this is something in our hands!! This is about our 'Self'. You are the architect of your own 'Self'.

I sure understand that its NOT easy to hold on to oneself at times of crisis. But we got to realize that 'not being able to hold on to oneself' just makes things worse.


So, guys! leave destiny and get back to job. Checkout yourself. Step-up and Workout to get a strong base. The rest can be constructed from there on.

Keep your priorities right and Have a happy life. You deserve it.
Good luck!

**********
I may be not at the best of my conveying skills here. But I dont care. I post it here with a wish that ppl grasp The Point!! instead of seeing it through literal/emotional filters.

మేఘన - Hangover....

Hangover??? Do you drink?
Ok Ok.... I mean.... I know you dont! But then why hangover???



I dont know!!



'Cmon yaar... something should have triggered it.



Hmmmm.....
I took my time to explain what I am seeing, what I have been thinking and what I am being through..... for the past 10 months. And I also got to know what the pov is.... from the "other" side.



That's Good. That's great in fact!! It should have brought you more clarity??!!
Like in Engineering drawing....., you get the details of view from various angles, and it helps you draw the RIGHT picture!!


Will you, PLEASE stop cracking non-sense??? for GOD sake?!!!.


Hey, I was just trying to...... Ok, Sorry! Go on...


All that I could feel is a lump in my throat. And suddenly, I could not breathe!
I could not even see anything properly.
and..... I felt sick and.... and felt like throwing up.
Its like.... Its like as if I am standing at the tip of a cliff and everything seemed verrrrrryyyy verrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy faaaaaaaaaaaaaar offffffff.
Today, on my way back home, I stood near the foot board. From the running bus, I was looking straight down, at the fast moving road, and........... All my senses wished that I let myself faaallll frrrreee.


Ok Ok. Relax.


Hmmm... I have all my time to relax, now.


Good! you badly need some rest. Go to bed now. Sweet dreams. Good night. Sleep tight.


Good night!

...........
...........


Good morning dear!!!
Hey, What are you taking in?



Wish it is poison.....


Damn it!!!! Whats sooo wrong with you yaaar??! Dont you have some nice thing to talk early in the morning???? When did you turn so damn pessimistic??? After all, what has happened now? God has given you an all available life. Be happy and grateful for that.


Haa haa haa....  calm down deary! I was just kidding, I am perfectly alright.
Its just that small thing in mind, which hits our conscious as the first thing.......  early in the morning................. feel sooo glad to have it in your life and you smile... :)
wow...............!!!
Isnt it a sweet feeling to open your eyes, stretch a bit, with a smile on your face and rise from the bed, in the morning?? 
I am sure, you wont contradict. You cant! No one can!!
But then...... the next moment, all of a sudden......., you realize!!
You realize that this day broke.......  and for the small thing in mind, its life has reduced by a day.
So, its just a count!!! A count-down!! that makes me feel sick~~


What..???


Chal... I got to go now, getting late.
Btw - That drawing stuff you told last night......  - It makes sense!


It did??

Yes, it did. It helped me wag off my hangover...
Come soon in the evening, we’ll hangout n party. I promise, I will make one more Hangover story for you tonight!! ;)
Great day ahead.!! Kise pataaa... "Kal HO na Ho..." :)
See you in the evening. Bye.



Bye!!




****************************

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' narrow chinks of his cavern."
-- William Blake

me and M.C - Fear

me - Ok, lets talk practical. I am human and so cant completely or at least instantly avoid or overcome fear in me. So, instead of giving lectures like "leave fear..." blah blah... tell me how to face it.



M.C: ok, then realize.



me: what?



M.C: the fact that you dont fear the problem, but you fear losing something 'coz of the problem.



me: of course, I know it. What to fear of a problem? Its for the loss, the problem might cause me, that I am afraid of. So, what I want to hear from you is... How to act at times, I fear.



M.C: hmmm. I feel nice to hear this from you. You sound strong enough to face fear now. Coming to your Q, all I can say is.. Dont think. Let your instinct take over. Most of the times its wiser than your intelligence. But just make sure and strict that you dont try to escape, whatever it may be.



me: Wait! You said I am strong enough..?


M.C: No, I said, 'You sound strong enough..'.


me: I thought it should be 'brave' enough.


M.C: No, brave is the absence of fear. What one needs to face fear is courage. One form of strength.


me: *&%$#@@#$%$^&*&^%$#!!!#$%  Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh.........I am CONFUSED.


M.C: 'To confuse' is a part of my part time job! :P


me: Huuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
 

*******
PS: M.C - My Conscience

Life

Sometimes you, its me sometimes...
None of us, at times...
But times... are always there.
Never Changing... Never Ending... Never Lasting...
For Ever and Ever Trailing and Quizzing.

LOST

The Voice is lost in the chaos around..
And the Vision in the dwelling darkness...


Neither the Sounds are clear nor there seems to be any insight...

Thick dark clouds of Fear spread in the skies, stealing away the little Light...

The Tide that could wash off the chaos is buried deep in the coffins of sadness by the daemons of Doubt...

Shivering, Shaking, Trembling... There is no choice left, except surrendering to the dreary Fate.


If only the Tide could rise out of the blues to tear apart the dwelling Darkness,
does the diseased mind be cured... lighting the candles of Courage with the first rays of Trust shining upon...



- Wish the Cry is Audible Enough!!

You pour down all your Love on me.
You are Rich and Generous.
You are Beautiful and Loving.
But I cant take it anymore.

- said the valley

"Take??!!!"
Your Depth is my Height.
You "Give" me Space.
You "Gave" me Life.
I never Gave. Thats my flow.

- replied the waterfall

Flower

Pluck this little flower and take it, delay not! I fear lest it
droop and drop into the dust.

I may not find a place in thy garland, but honour it with a touch of
pain from thy hand and pluck it. I fear lest the day end before I am
aware, and the time of offering go by.

Though its colour be not deep and its smell be faint, use this flower
in thy service and pluck it while there is time.

- Gitanjali

..Unnoticed World..

Touched was I deeply, by few expressions. Why?
Deep enough to pull the strings of my Soul. And I,
To those tunes, sung and swung and moved and danced.
Lifted and carried was the overwhelmed me, to...
Where the flowers of Love filled the colours of Life,
And in all the Thoughts there, was their fragrance...!


Opening my eyes like waking from a Dream,
I see myself, where I was before!!
So,was that not real? and just a World of Dream ??
'No.. no..', surrounded a Breeze, so shouting.
Thence did I close my eyes again and took a deep breath.

Aaah... the map to my Dream, found I then!!
The way to go, was not by flying 'away', but by 'Diving In'.....

...Cloud Nine...

One day, we were in a garden.
walking through the trees,
Talking from the hearts,
Travelling through the thoughts...

Suddenly there was silence. [we stopped talking.]
Dawn or dusk, I did not notice.
All I could hear is birds chirping,
and not very far behind, a cukoo singing.

Surrounded by hundreds of colours,
and by the fragrance of flowers,
driving and feeding little butterflies. [nectar or colours ?]
Driving us too, through the woods. [to a colourful world]

All that we carried in that mile
is an untiring face with a smile.
Grabbed my hand in a flick,
you ran, that's so quick. [to me]

Not aware of the happening,
me and others were just following [you].
At the End of woods, you and I remained
still running, with the wind.

We crossed oceans and
flew across mountains.
Then we landed...
In the world of clouds.

For the first time ever,
I touched/sensed a Cloud!!
You introduced it to me.
Beyond that there is only Light!!

----------------------------------------------------------------
I have been through this way even before but never realised that,
Life is so beautiful!

~~Tide~~

Riding on the yacht, aware of the tides
and the currents, I might face.
That day too, was as any other day,
Until I met a friendly tide on my way.

Though friendly, tide he is!
Back to front, through he is. [surrounded]
Few times I was Worried and down,
But never he, let me drown.

A friendly tide he is,
back to front, through he is.
Strong enough to pull me over and
gentle enough to push me close. [to my destination]

Can I ride now, any other tide,
however it is, deep and wide.
To Love other tides, I learnt and
I remember, its just the start. [journey to eternity]

A friendly tide He is,
back to front, through He is.

..Emotional..

I am 'Emotional'
Is what I feel, also hear.
But am never clear, of
What exactly is being so..?

Known to me is,
to Express...
The nice, hard, stupid, crazy...
Also good, bad, ugly, naughty...
Anything that I feel,
For all, to whom, it is not a big deal!

Do I have to change ?
I was confused.
The challenge is to stand still.
later, I realised.

It felt good, expressing...
Taking the challenge, proud I am feeling.
Be it Good or bad, I am not bothered.
Me ready on the runway, fully feathered.
All is a process, and there is,
nothing I need or want to possess.

Flying...Floating...Flowing....
in fact, I am 'Freeing...' !

My 'Self' from 'myself' !!

Far from the world...

Far from the world, I live,
on the island of Love.

All the days through nights,
I spent there...
Sitting on the shore,
playing with its sands.
Looking at the waters,
helping you row...
Listening to the music of winds,
carrying your messages...
With my hope,
Is your Light...

waiting am I,
for u to join me.

And then...
Dreamt I that you came,
Not by the waters but by the wind,
Love had given you wings.

You soared over the seas,
and saw the Horizon,
The Giver of Life and His flaming chariot,
took you into His embrace.

Returning from His domain,
You came, just for me,
Or so I thought, true might not be.
Yet I could feel your warmth,
And in that, I breathed all Life safely.

...Beauty of Friendship...

I was in a corner, You brought me light...
Everything around seemed so Bright..!
You smiled.. and then hugged me...
I felt it great... I saw myself shine...!
You took me out...taught me dance...
Wow !!! the pleasure is immense...

I felt the air in my hairs...
when we ran effortless and aimless..,
with my hand in yours or otherwise... [I dont remember...]
with our only destination as Happiness !!

It has become my routine now..!
My journey has become joyful and effortless !!
I wish, I see you there everytime I reach...!
For, I wish you Happiness always...

Now... can I call you my friend ?!

Life became simple in your friendship !
Smile has become common in your company !!

If I ever owe anything at all to God.. it is you..
For, you cost me, my life.. my dear FRIEND..!

I dedicate this to all my dear friends...

Love, Smiles and Hugs... :)

..GOD..

The silent 'ME' in me ,
Who Creates... my best creations,
Who observes.... everything I do,
Who laughs... with me when I am alone,
Who walks.. beside when I wander,
Who listens... silent when I cry,
Who speaks... when I lose words,
Who gives.... all that I need,
is GOD... to me...!

God is within me. Around me...
In all the life I see, I fell, I touch, I sense.
Even in the non-sense... the thoughts, ideas, creations...But!
I realise Him only in the Gaps....??!!
That shows I am never alone.....
Even if I am, She never leaves me...as,
It is 'ME'.......